burma and back
i went for my last visa run before i am kicked out of the country the other day. (back on the 23rd december by the way - just in time to collect all my christmas presents - ok?)
anyway, i was a bit scared of my visa run cos i was a day over my allowed stay... since they have changed the visa laws everyone has been a bit scared of overstays - many rumours about it being a chance for the corrupt to get more money out of us western folk.
it was all ok though, well some of it was - some of it was really sad.
visa run day is usually very boring - sit on a bus for 4 hours there and back with a boat ride and lots of queing in between. the first day i attempted this the bus was cancelled - hence the overstay, the second day the bus forgot me.
as i have friends in high places i managed to get the bus to wait for me in a petrol station while i missioned it with a friendly taxi driver who wanted to talk to me all about my teaching (???) when i we got to the petrol station - at times like these i wish i knew the thai for "oh do be quiet".
when we got to immigration i was pointed in the direction of the "overstay" office. this place is very daunting - i have only ever queued outside it hoping never to go in, but this time i had to face the scary man behind the desk collecting money for the privilege of one day extra in thailand. as i opened the door a huge grin couldn't help but creep across my face. the scary overwhelmingly large thai person sat behind the desk was busy stamping bits of paper while looking very important. in the cornerof this little room, or shoe box - as a more appropriate description was a very large single speaker stereo/amplifier.
Music of choice for my official paper stamper and potential fear instigater was 'sexual healing'.
.......the gold buddha necklace around his neck suddenly started to resemble an austin powers male symbol, and his shirt was no longer thai but 1970's hawaiian....soon the repetitive stamping of paper turned into some kind of tom jones dancing.
turns out that the little overstay room was in fact a guise for sexual healing. who knew?
did i mention that the room is soundproofed? this meant that when i left the room i could not share my wonderland experience with anyone - they'd never believe me.
when we came back into the immigration office later, the sexual healing room had turned into "play that funky music white boy" room, with the door open and whole immigration builing vibrating to the groove (i do't think i've ever used that word befor e- and i apologie for its use now).
this was really one of the funniest experiences i have had in thailand.
the thing that happened next put a bit of a damper on the whole thing though.
parked outside was a big black van, the same kind as used in the wizard of oz when they take away the wicked witch at the end of the film - they may even have borrowed the same one.
slowly i realised that this was a police van (it took a while - even with teh big black bars and 5 security/scary police men) and it was cramed full of burmese. i can't really explain ho wcramme dthsi van was, lets just say there were fingers stinking out all over the place. the doors were then opened and these people (at least i think thats what they are - the way thai people treat them confuses me a little though) were led up through the locked doors to who knows where.
the thais hate the burmese, there are a lot of illegal immigrants here. this is obviously for better quality of living (even in their corrugated iron shacks which flood in the rainy season and are ovens all year round) but mainly becuase of the political situation in burma. many many children are forced into the army, and as there is such civil unrest in the country these kids don't stand much of a chance really. i'm not sure if education for children even exists in most parts of burma.
anyway, so they are here illegally and the thais don't like it (and they say that they steal and are nasty people....i think the fact that they are illegal as little to do with anything. in my experience thai people in general - note i am saying in general - are quite racist, if you're not thai - you're simply not great. i thought that english patriotism was unbearable - now i know better).
blah blah blah
i'm going on a bit aren't i?
i'm gonna finish now. my point was/is - this was really horrible standing with all my farang companions getting our passports stamped watching the burmese being shuffled like cattle upstiars to who-knows-where (could be anything in thailand). some of these people will now not be able to contact their family again, maybe even leaving their kids alone and who knows what the thai officials will do to them anyway?
made me feel a bit sick.
anyway, i was a bit scared of my visa run cos i was a day over my allowed stay... since they have changed the visa laws everyone has been a bit scared of overstays - many rumours about it being a chance for the corrupt to get more money out of us western folk.
it was all ok though, well some of it was - some of it was really sad.
visa run day is usually very boring - sit on a bus for 4 hours there and back with a boat ride and lots of queing in between. the first day i attempted this the bus was cancelled - hence the overstay, the second day the bus forgot me.
as i have friends in high places i managed to get the bus to wait for me in a petrol station while i missioned it with a friendly taxi driver who wanted to talk to me all about my teaching (???) when i we got to the petrol station - at times like these i wish i knew the thai for "oh do be quiet".
when we got to immigration i was pointed in the direction of the "overstay" office. this place is very daunting - i have only ever queued outside it hoping never to go in, but this time i had to face the scary man behind the desk collecting money for the privilege of one day extra in thailand. as i opened the door a huge grin couldn't help but creep across my face. the scary overwhelmingly large thai person sat behind the desk was busy stamping bits of paper while looking very important. in the cornerof this little room, or shoe box - as a more appropriate description was a very large single speaker stereo/amplifier.
Music of choice for my official paper stamper and potential fear instigater was 'sexual healing'.
.......the gold buddha necklace around his neck suddenly started to resemble an austin powers male symbol, and his shirt was no longer thai but 1970's hawaiian....soon the repetitive stamping of paper turned into some kind of tom jones dancing.
turns out that the little overstay room was in fact a guise for sexual healing. who knew?
did i mention that the room is soundproofed? this meant that when i left the room i could not share my wonderland experience with anyone - they'd never believe me.
when we came back into the immigration office later, the sexual healing room had turned into "play that funky music white boy" room, with the door open and whole immigration builing vibrating to the groove (i do't think i've ever used that word befor e- and i apologie for its use now).
this was really one of the funniest experiences i have had in thailand.
the thing that happened next put a bit of a damper on the whole thing though.
parked outside was a big black van, the same kind as used in the wizard of oz when they take away the wicked witch at the end of the film - they may even have borrowed the same one.
slowly i realised that this was a police van (it took a while - even with teh big black bars and 5 security/scary police men) and it was cramed full of burmese. i can't really explain ho wcramme dthsi van was, lets just say there were fingers stinking out all over the place. the doors were then opened and these people (at least i think thats what they are - the way thai people treat them confuses me a little though) were led up through the locked doors to who knows where.
the thais hate the burmese, there are a lot of illegal immigrants here. this is obviously for better quality of living (even in their corrugated iron shacks which flood in the rainy season and are ovens all year round) but mainly becuase of the political situation in burma. many many children are forced into the army, and as there is such civil unrest in the country these kids don't stand much of a chance really. i'm not sure if education for children even exists in most parts of burma.
anyway, so they are here illegally and the thais don't like it (and they say that they steal and are nasty people....i think the fact that they are illegal as little to do with anything. in my experience thai people in general - note i am saying in general - are quite racist, if you're not thai - you're simply not great. i thought that english patriotism was unbearable - now i know better).
blah blah blah
i'm going on a bit aren't i?
i'm gonna finish now. my point was/is - this was really horrible standing with all my farang companions getting our passports stamped watching the burmese being shuffled like cattle upstiars to who-knows-where (could be anything in thailand). some of these people will now not be able to contact their family again, maybe even leaving their kids alone and who knows what the thai officials will do to them anyway?
made me feel a bit sick.
posted by Sam Pering at 3:32 PM
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