Super teachers

i've decided that the teachers are on fact comedy super heros.

they are very different to english teachers, my experiences of english teachers at least.

'the force feeder' is an interesting one, she tries to make you explode with food, shes the lady who 'brian the american' lives with. shes the one with the pigs fat.

the other day as i was getting on my bike to leave the school she came running out of her classroom (full of students) and up to me "saam, saam" (my name has 2 a's in thailand), "bang niang?" - thats where i live. she was asking me if i was going back to my house, "yes" i say as i proceed to get on my bike; but in the 15 seconds it takes me to put my helmut on and lift one leg up to actually get on the bike to ride away, the force feeder has whooshed into the computer room that i was parked outside and comes out with pineapple, guava and coconut toffee rice stuff.

now as i far i know, and i've worked in there for a few months now, the computer room is full of computers, a couple of toilets and a few tables. no where in there have i seen glasses, plates, cutlery, let alone a fridge for this fruit to be kept in, but the force feeder has magical powers, and somehow, from this clinical room full of technology, she can pull out a fresh picnic.

meanwhile her classroom full of students are at the window awaiting inrtructions for the class. but the force feeder has more important things at hand: feeding me. so we sit on the wall and eat, while she shouts orders at her 30 7 year olds. at one point she even got them all to come over to where we were eating and line up in 2 rows so she could inform them of what to do. and back they went.

i think that she draws her powers from the cafeteria - the other day i saw that she had relocated a class here, including white board, so that she could "gin gin" (eat eat).

in case you're wondering - she's very thin. through her thailish the other day, she told me i was fat.

i love her.

then there is 'brian the american'. theres not much to say about this super hero. he's american, so he will probably save the world.

'the smiler' - she kills people with her ability to never lose her smile, people wither in wonder of her perma-grin. the smiler is the thai english teacher, and she is lovely beyond lovelyness.
when teaching, the smiler punishes in smiles, shes whack them with a huge smile across her face (yes whacking children is the way of life in thai schools it would seem, i've never seen her hit a child hard, but i have heard stories of a vicious beating from the force feeder before).

The smiler draws her powers from her fathers love: "he just wanted daughters, he likes girls better, so i'm his favourite" - bad luck to her 2 brothers. i've been for dinner a few times at the smilers house - she still lives with her parents, shes young, my age (living at home at 25!?! you wouldn't catch me sponging off the rents...or aunties, or uncles for that matter....at that age!!!). I like to go to her house for dinner, her mum is a lovely big old woman who cooks the food, while her dad has his one beer of the day and grins insessintly - like his offspring super hero of a daughter. i think once upon a time he was the owner of "the smiler" title, but since his daughter can use the powers more than him these days - spreding The Smile to all the children in the village- he has passed it on.

he still grins like a cheshire cat though.

i think i must get on with work now. if i had a super hero title, i think it would be "the super procrastinator". when i learn more about the secret super heros of watkommanyeeaket school, i will reveal them to the world.