burma and back

i went for my last visa run before i am kicked out of the country the other day. (back on the 23rd december by the way - just in time to collect all my christmas presents - ok?)

anyway, i was a bit scared of my visa run cos i was a day over my allowed stay... since they have changed the visa laws everyone has been a bit scared of overstays - many rumours about it being a chance for the corrupt to get more money out of us western folk.

it was all ok though, well some of it was - some of it was really sad.

visa run day is usually very boring - sit on a bus for 4 hours there and back with a boat ride and lots of queing in between. the first day i attempted this the bus was cancelled - hence the overstay, the second day the bus forgot me.

as i have friends in high places i managed to get the bus to wait for me in a petrol station while i missioned it with a friendly taxi driver who wanted to talk to me all about my teaching (???) when i we got to the petrol station - at times like these i wish i knew the thai for "oh do be quiet".

when we got to immigration i was pointed in the direction of the "overstay" office. this place is very daunting - i have only ever queued outside it hoping never to go in, but this time i had to face the scary man behind the desk collecting money for the privilege of one day extra in thailand. as i opened the door a huge grin couldn't help but creep across my face. the scary overwhelmingly large thai person sat behind the desk was busy stamping bits of paper while looking very important. in the cornerof this little room, or shoe box - as a more appropriate description was a very large single speaker stereo/amplifier.

Music of choice for my official paper stamper and potential fear instigater was 'sexual healing'.

.......the gold buddha necklace around his neck suddenly started to resemble an austin powers male symbol, and his shirt was no longer thai but 1970's hawaiian....soon the repetitive stamping of paper turned into some kind of tom jones dancing.

turns out that the little overstay room was in fact a guise for sexual healing. who knew?

did i mention that the room is soundproofed? this meant that when i left the room i could not share my wonderland experience with anyone - they'd never believe me.

when we came back into the immigration office later, the sexual healing room had turned into "play that funky music white boy" room, with the door open and whole immigration builing vibrating to the groove (i do't think i've ever used that word befor e- and i apologie for its use now).

this was really one of the funniest experiences i have had in thailand.

the thing that happened next put a bit of a damper on the whole thing though.

parked outside was a big black van, the same kind as used in the wizard of oz when they take away the wicked witch at the end of the film - they may even have borrowed the same one.

slowly i realised that this was a police van (it took a while - even with teh big black bars and 5 security/scary police men) and it was cramed full of burmese. i can't really explain ho wcramme dthsi van was, lets just say there were fingers stinking out all over the place. the doors were then opened and these people (at least i think thats what they are - the way thai people treat them confuses me a little though) were led up through the locked doors to who knows where.

the thais hate the burmese, there are a lot of illegal immigrants here. this is obviously for better quality of living (even in their corrugated iron shacks which flood in the rainy season and are ovens all year round) but mainly becuase of the political situation in burma. many many children are forced into the army, and as there is such civil unrest in the country these kids don't stand much of a chance really. i'm not sure if education for children even exists in most parts of burma.

anyway, so they are here illegally and the thais don't like it (and they say that they steal and are nasty people....i think the fact that they are illegal as little to do with anything. in my experience thai people in general - note i am saying in general - are quite racist, if you're not thai - you're simply not great. i thought that english patriotism was unbearable - now i know better).

blah blah blah

i'm going on a bit aren't i?

i'm gonna finish now. my point was/is - this was really horrible standing with all my farang companions getting our passports stamped watching the burmese being shuffled like cattle upstiars to who-knows-where (could be anything in thailand). some of these people will now not be able to contact their family again, maybe even leaving their kids alone and who knows what the thai officials will do to them anyway?

made me feel a bit sick.

City Break

about a month ago i went to singapore for the weekend.....it was just after our official (but in no way "open") opening and i really needed a break. It was so refreshing to be in a city again - as much as i am enjoying my new lifestyle in countrsyside isolation, its nice to return to familiarity.

I went mainly because there was an art bienalle on, but i ended up shopping a lot (something i would usually hate), and eating a lot of indian and turkish food. i saw a lot of the art exhibitions, not all of them, but a good days worth (thats enough right?). i went to the cinema, a mosque, hindu temple, catholic church and nearly a synagogue .... more new religous places of worhsip in one weekend than in my whole life (yes a cinema is place of worship).

before i went i was told that singapore was soulless: it definetly is a strange place, a compact selection of cultures from around the world...i went to the arab quater, the indian quater, china town and clarke quay (rich people quater). In my opinion there is no way is singapore soulless. ok so it doesn't really have a unified identity but thats what makes the island so interesting and diverse. maybe i have been out in the sticks for too long though.

the political side of singapore is a little scary - there is little freedom in singapore - this might be the reason why people say there is not much to the place. chewing gum is ilegal, as is littering, jay walking, breathing and speaking out against the government (although i'm getting used to this little piece of repression - in thailand its illegal to say anything bad about the royal family - the other day i was sitting with my friend and a lady trying to sell us pictures of the royal family and my friend pointed out with a cheeky smile, that she looks like the princess. when i started talking about it she hushed me and when the sales lady was gone jane (i have changed her name for her own protection) told me that it is illegal - possibly punishable by death - to compare yourself to the royal family) .

Singapore is as clean as everyone says, but i have to say it is not as clean as canberra. i don't think i'll ever find a city as clean canberra though - most capital citys usually have people in them to create the mess, canberra doesn't have to worry about this problem.

I can't really think what else to say about singapore; its a city and thats pretty much it really - bog standard. there is no characteristic that sticks out - apart from the cultural diversity. the architecture was very interesting, from institutional to contemporary to cultuarlly specific, but for the most part i felt like i was by own version of george orwell creating my own 1984. i think singapore is such an example of cultural integration - or not as the case maybe, i have no doubt that it represents the standard western city of the future, with culture divided or repressed.

i feel like i'm back at goldsmiths now so will shut up.

Kate comes to thailand

**I have a problem typing 'the', so throughout this there will be many 'teh's, i cannot be bothered to correct them all, and i will go to a master class in writing this little word one day - but until then you will have to deal with it - among all the other typo's i can't be bothered to correct.

Its now november and kate came in september - but have been too busy to write anything..... Kate came and it was great. We ate, and drank a little (mostly a little anyway, until we hit the backpacker road in bangkok....), we ate some more, we went to places that made me realise i am in fact actually really lucky to be living here (koh phi phi and phang nga bay) and then we ate some more. i thought it was important for koo to see how i lived - and this involves eating vast quantities. on the first weekend we went to phuket for a night out; we stayed at somones lovely flat next to the beach with a swimming pool - which we took full advantage of the next day, and got very sunburnt. the next week i spent mostly working - vey boring for kate, but was coming up to teh opening so i was gtting very busy. she did get to wonder around phang nga for a couple of hours though while i went a pointless meeting with the govenor, this must have been very exciting for her (?). but in teh afternoon shoo took us to see phang nga bay, and james bond island (so named for teh tourists cos a few seconds of a james bond film were shot here apparently). the island itself was kinda dissapointing, but the scenery on teh way in teh log tail boat was stunning. its about an hour away from my house and i never knew! then on the friday we went to patong for some ladyboy watching - real great. we managed to get a good priced hotel which was gorgeous, and that night met up with brian the american and went out to teh tourist centre of teh south of thailand i believe. it was abit much for me i have to say - coming out from teh middle of no where, to the farang filled streets of patong - bright lights and few clothes abound (is that an oxymoron? "few clothes abound"? you know what i mean). quite sad when we went down to the end of a street to go into a ladyboy caberet show. as we enterd teh damp pit of a former glamourous caberet setting, the queen on stage was startled by customers and resumed her miming once again. as we sat down on teh wet seats we decided it was time to leave; especially as we were asked to pay 200 baht for teh privelege of sitting on damp seats in a musty room with an uninterested drag queen on stage. the next day we had teh dilema of staying in our lush hotel for anothe rnight or missioning it to phi phi island - we chose teh latter and were so glad that we did. i believe that phi phi used to be idillic 10 or 20 years ago until the tourists (and alex garland) came, but apart from all the westerners with bum bags and red faces, it was very near idillic. one of teh most beautiful places I’ve seen.



Next we had another week in khao lak – which again was work filled for me, and koo entertained herself for the most part as I can remember. She did manage to see some of the local wildlife when she was chased by a snake at the beach one day. It is funny now (to me anyway), but at the time I think she was scared to death, so it wasn’t so funny (hee hee).



Then for her final 5 days we went up to Bangkok – more new stuff for me too.

We arrived late at night after our plane was delayed by a zillion hours, and went to find our hotel – that we had invested a lot of expectation and money in – wanting a bit of luxury. When we got there I was in the worst mood ever, and when I saw our room I got even worse (sorry koo). It wasn’t the worst room in the world but I was hungry (I turn into the incredible hulk if I don’t have food – literally, I gain about 10 stone go all green and veiny – its not the nicest side of me, so if I ever tell you I am hungry – your best bet for survival is to feed me ok?).

After we saw our room we went out onto the street to look around - this was after about midnight – and we both decided that we didn’t like Bangkok – it seemed dirtier and seedier than I had imagined, and coming from gentle khao lak, or even bosham, I started to feel out of my depth.

But the next day we changed hotel and everything started to look better. By the end of Bangkok we had had an excellent time, and didn’t hate the place – its not at the top of my list of cities in the world, but its ok, and lots of fun.



We saw the grandpalace (where we played “wheres wally” with the monks while they played the part of a tourist attraction for everyone, koo then in turn became the tourist attraction when the monks asked HER if they could have their picture with her! we ate, we went shopping, we went to a huge market, we saw loads that I can’t remember, and we had a great night out in Ko san road – the backpacker place I talked about. This night was typically ko san and random, something that you might have seen in the film ‘the beach’, as me and koo attracted random people on our bar crawl which ended at the only bar open after 2 in the morning down a back alley. The next day I felt like I might die. Thai whiskey = not good for you.

You’ll be pleased to hear (or not depending on who is reading this) that I haven’t drunk like it since. Not that i can remember anyway.

After Bangkok koo had to go home, this is the rubbish part of the story, and I did not like it.

The end

:o)

my flowers are alive